You are a news reporter, you just don't know it

This year we had one of the most polarized elections I have ever witnessed. The United States was deeply divided between the viewpoints on this election had the presidential candidates as their champions. The elections came and went and both candidates pleaded with the nation to unite together and bring some peace to a very noisy election cycle. The President implored citizens to do the same. Yet we have become more divided than we were before. More than half of our social media feeds are posts relating to how bad the president elect is or how lucky we are that he got elected. And the messages are dark and quite troubling.

We all have seen how polarization creates contention and malice towards each other. That is the very core of things like racism; them against us. This is interesting because we have started to go meta and be racist towards racists. Now on the outset that sounds great, because they ought to be punished for acting poorly right? But who is the one to do the punishing? And this isn't the only issue that is causing the strife within the United States in the last few days. But we see people grouping together and talking about how much they expect to oppressed and how they feel they were wronged by the election results.

This is not unity! This is jumping off the bridge because everybody else is doing it. People want others to share in their suffering, but all we do when we group ourselves with people who have the same issues and blame another person is make things worse. We feel empty inside and anger swells. We think we feel satisfaction in knowing others are going through the same thing but at the same time we feel wronged even more because surely the parties responsible for this wrongdoing should be made aware and accountable for what is happening.

What is really happening though is a mixture of lack of accountability on our own part for managing our own happiness and running from issues and demons within us. We feel as is somebody else should fix our problems but in reality the person who makes the biggest difference in your life is first and foremost yourself. Hope is something that we get after we admit this and it grows as we nurture it. Nobody can take your happiness away from you, they can only change outward circumstances, which God has enabled us to be able to adapt to some of the harshest of conditions.

Not only that, but God has promised to aid us during times of trial. Yes it is after we thing can do, but I believe it is after everything that we can do that He would approve of. "He who has the spirit not of me, but is of the devil." Let us instead hold up our lights for others to see!

Birth2 Story Part 3-SUPER LONG POST

FINALLY, the exciting part! So, like I said before, I was having contraction since 5:30am on March 27th. They were pretty consistent and were definitely true labor pains this time. I decided to go to the birth center around lunch time. I had called everyone who had planned on attending the birth. We loaded all our stuff into the birth center and thought we were ready for a baby to come today! In between contractions, my friend (and photographer) thought she'd take advantage of getting some pictures. These are a few of my favorites:

After about 2 and a half hours of contractions with no signs of progression, the midwife checked for dilation. 

I was only at 2.5 cm!!! WHAT?! That's IT!!?? Ugh! It was going to be a long day. 

 And this was only the beginning! This was a whole new experience for me since, with Paxton, my water broke. And even though my water broke with Paxton, I didn't have contractions until I took castor oil 13 hours later. I had contractions ALL DAY! They got worse and worse as the day went on. At about 10:30 my best friend Virginia suggested we go walk around Walmart to try to get things moving along quicker. *Let me tell you, riding in a car in the middle of contractions, SUCKS* So we walked around Walmart, and I got SO frustrated. It seemed like EVERY time I had a contraction, I was in the way of a worker trying to sweep, or haul boxes. SERIOUSLY!!! DON'T MAKE THE PREGNANT LADY MOVE OUT OF YOUR WAY! YOU MOVE OUT OF MY WAY! Ugh! I was glad Virginia was there to direct 'traffic.' Walmart closes at 11 here, so we headed back home to labor some more. At about 12:30am on March 28th, I called my midwife to see where I was dilation wise and if we could maybe go to the birth center. *ALL I wanted was the tub* So she came to the house and checked me. She said I was about 7.5cm!!! I was seriously expecting, like, 5cm since I took ALL day to even get this far. I was SO happy. We were getting close!...but not close enough. Kathy (midwife) said with the way things had been going all day...slow...that it would probably be at least another 2 hours before she would suggest the tub. *Can you imagine my disappointment?* She said I could go to the birth center if I wanted, but she wouldn't be wanting me in the tub yet. I told her I just want the tub, so she suggested that I wait it out a couple more hours. I decided that was the better decision. So we labored at home some more. Everyone else (Tyler, Grandma and Virginia) took advantage of this time to try to nap. At about 2am the contractions started getting A LOT more intense and I decided to call Kathy and let her know I was ready to head to the birth center. When I got there, it was in the middle of the night (about 2:30am). We were all already exhausted from laboring all day.

Notice the difference in my face from the pictures earlier...much more painful at this point.

Kathy checked Rylan's heart tones as soon as she got there. All was good.

She gave the OK for the student midwife, Dani, to fill the tub for me.

FINALLY!!!

The tub is my friend. It eases the contractions a TON.

My support team is the best.

Especially my husband...I just need him there. He doesn't have to do a thing. Just having him there is enough.

I worked through contraction after contraction for a few hours. And then things started to get really intense...

....and VERY painful.

My water broke...and I FELT it! It was nothing like with Paxton. With Paxton, it was a slow trickle. This time it was a POP and his head thrusting into my pelvis all at once. It hurt like no other! Oh, and it happened DURING a contraction! Not cool.

Kathy was checking Rylan's heart tones and started noticing a drop. This isn't necessarily a concern if the heart tone can come up. So she had me change positions, to see if the baby was just in a funky position and not able to get his heart tone where they should be...

...so she had me lean back and put my feet against the tub. At this point I was feeling urges to push and heart tones still weren't recovering. Now things were getting a bit more time sensitive. Kathy is telling me, "We have to get this baby out now. You can do it." We changed positions again...

I had to stand up!!! HOW do I do that with a head that is RIGHT THERE and having contractions back to back!? But I had my husband there for my support. He is SO strong! I don't know HOW he held me up because while standing, I would have the urge to push and bare down (squat). I pulled on him as hard as I could I bet. But he held firm. I was so grateful for that. Well...after 3 good pushes standing, he still hadn't presented his head yet. So Kathy told me I had to move to the bed (the LAST place I want to be during contractions). Climbing out of the tub and then walking to the bed was no easy task. As soon as I got to the bed, I crashed onto it as another contraction hit. Kathy had planned for me to get on hands and knees, but it just didn't work out that way. 

Grandma was so excited, he was almost here! FINALLY! 

 After about two pushes on the bed, he was born. Let me tell you, these were NOT easy pushes. Kathy wanted that baby out as soon as possible. His heart tones still weren't recovering, and it was worrisome. There was a lot of screaming, at one point I kicked the midwife...there was a reason for it. Rylan had his fist up under his head. She was trying to push it back along with stretching me a bit to help to get him out faster. It hurt SO bad! Tyler had to hold my neck so my chin stayed down. After all that thrashing around, he was born, FINALLY. I was so relieved, and SO exhausted. I couldn't believe it was finally over.

But it wasn't... 

He was having labored breathing. His was having retractions (his stomach was moving, but he was hardly taking breaths). The midwives had checked his lungs for fluid and heard nothing. 

^^^That's my other midwife, Krista.^^^

They were trying to invert him to get any gunk out that they might not have been able to hear. 

Luckily they do delayed cord clamping, so he was getting all the oxygen he needed because my placenta was still pulsating and giving him what he needed. So no worries about brain damage :) Grandma was hysterical, in tears, worried. So was everyone else. I knew everything was going to be fine. Mother's intuition? Not a hint of worry on my face. I trust my midwives. I knew they would take care of him as would Heavenly Father.

I don't have a picture, but they were able to suck out a TON of mucous and fluid out of his lungs. His breathing started to even out after that. I was SO exhausted, I could hardly keep my eyes open.

But things started to settle down.

I finally got to hold Rylan a little bit further from my face so I could get a REALLY good look at him. He was too close for me to get a good focus on him earlier haha.

Exhausted Daddy...

...but still there to help. Such a trooper!

First time trying to feed him. 

Skin to skin with Daddy...I wasn't feeling very good at this point...feeling pretty nauseated from all the juice and food everyone was trying to get in me...but I puked it all back up and felt much better haha!

                                           Here are some fresh, new baby pics..

My chunk a monk!

Baby Toes

10.3 lbs!!

Foot Stamps

Then we had my friend bring Paxton! It was SUPER early in the morning, so he was pretty out of it and tired. And apparently had been up since, like, 4. haha

First time he got to see his baby brother.

Not quite sure what to think yet. :)

All my boys together. <3

NOW he's excited to hold him. ;)

Trying to be so careful

Maybe, still not so sure...

OH! I get it! I'm a big brother! 

I am in love with my boys. Paxton has been such a good big brother. He loves Rylan so much and tries to help where he can. And still loves to hold him! :) It was quite a journey getting him here but so worth it!

And just a few more pictures of Rylan and I, just cause I think they are beautiful. 

All picture credit goes to Alaina Dooley Photography! Thanks so much!

SMILE!!! <3

Thank you to all who attended Rylan's birth! Virginia, Grandma, both midwives, student midwives and of course, my husband. And a HUGE thanks to my friend Clarissa who watched Paxton all day, all night and into the next day while we all caught up on some sleep. :) Love you all!