Sunday, July 29, 2012

A father's thoughts - By Tyler

Hey everybody! This is Tyler. I'm the one blogging for once. I have to say it has been a very interesting last few weeks. For all of you who don't know, Lacie and I got to meet our new son Paxton on June 20. He weighed 8 lbs 7 oz and measured 19 in long. Since Lacie has put the story on Facebook, I think I get to put the story on our blog. On Thursday morning (June 19) I woke up to Lacie calling for me. It was about 3 AM. I noticed that the bathroom light was on, which for Lacie is very unusual because she usually just goes while the Scentsy light is on. But unfortunately I was really out of it at the moment because I had just woken up. About two minutes later I finally answered her. This is when I got super awake when she said these five words, "I think my water broke."

"What!?" First thing that came to mind is that its too soon. We had decided that we would be going to a midwife provider for the birth. But to our knowledge Lacie was two days away from being 37 weeks. That meant that the birth center that we were planning on going to wouldn't be able to take us or else they would lose their licenses to practice. I start to panic (yes I know every father does this when the moment comes).

We get a hold of our dula who actually was Lacie's old apartment manager when she used to live at the dorms. At the moment she was actually still in Alaska. We had planned on her being there for the birth because Lacie's due date wasn't for another two weeks. Oh and BTW we couldn't find the numbers for our birth center. Luckily our dula had actually given birth through the same provider and still had their number. She called the midwife and then the midwife called us. One of the midwives lives in Rexburg just around the corner from us so after a little bit communication the Rexburg midwife came over to our apartment and did a little house call. At that point I had been talking with our dula enough that I've been able to calm down, and my head has cleared enough that I can think.

The midwife did a few tests on the fluid to make sure it was indeed amniotic fluid which of course it was. And we had a conversation about Lacie coming into the birth center later that day. We already had an appointment for that day so it made sense. So you may be asking, "Why weren't they headed to the hospital at this point?" Well the truth is that there really wouldn't be any point. Lacie wasn't progressing or having contractions which is the main indicator of active labor. So what we needed to do is just be careful and clean. And that's all I'm going to say about that. :)

Later that day we got a hold of Lacie's friend Virginia. Turns out it was a perfect day for us to have the baby for Virginia because school allowed for it. I really feel for her husband though because after this point, he didn't get to see her really until after the baby was born with a quick food delivery while Lacie was in labor. All I can say is thank you Ryan for being such a great sport and letting us borrow your wife, because she helped A TON.

Virginia was a great help like I've said and she also was able to come with us to the appointment. I think it was really good for her to come because it was a learning experience for her on this particular route of birth. It was around then that we got the news that we would actually still be able to go to the birth center because according to the last doctor's ultrasound analysis her due date was adjusted to be sooner. So she was considered "full term." That was enough for the midwives to take us. By this time we are worried about infection with the water broken, so the midwives suggest we induce naturally. Just so you know, I still agree with the decision we make, but boy was it hard on Lacie.

They gave us castrol oil which includes some very intense side effects. If want to know what they were you'll have to ask Lacie. All I want to say is that Lacie says it was very gross tasting. In fact she describes it as eating makeup. But it did its job and Lacie shortly after she took it began the process of going into active labor. It took a couple hours, but at about 10:30 PM that night (still July 19) she was having active labor contractions and we headed out to the birth center.

I have to say, the movies do a really good job of making this look a lot more worrisome that it really is. At this point Lacie and I talked a little bit in between contractions in the car on our way over to the birth center while Virginia followed us in her truck. Once we got there, this is where the most beautiful part of the story started.

This birth center is amazing. The setting is very home like and comfortable. The people that work there make a point to have a good solid relationship with both the mother and father so that we are comfortable with them coming in. On top of that they usually only have one birth going on at a time and they really don't bother you with needless questions because they are VERY familiar with each person's case so there is a lot more personable care. I mean even the secretary was familiar enough that when she ended up being there it didn't bother Lacie or myself in the least bit but instead just made us feel like we were around people we could totally trust.

The tub was already filling up with warm water for Lacie to get into. I've never given birth so I don't know from personal experience how much that helps but from what my wife told me, it was so much better to labor in the tub. And I have to say that she went from stage one through transition onto stage 3 like a boss. The classes that we had taken together were a great help too. The comfort measures that we learned helped alleviate the pain that we could while at the same time allowing Lacie to listen to her body during the birth process.

Men this is the part I want you to pay special attention to. During the birth process there is a lot of time to think while you silently hold your wife's hand or help here with other comfort measures. I took a few moments to think about what Lacie was doing. And watching her at times was very hard to do because it is so hard to see her in pain like that. But I never suggested that she wouldn't be able to do this on her own. In fact I had confidence that Lacie would do this. Albeit it took a little longer than I was expecting (another side effect of Hollywood births). It was such a bonding experience too. At one point I was in the water with her has she was hugging me for support as she was laboring.

Another big thing that happened is that we had another person there from Switzerland who was there as a volunteer. She was so nice and friendly. But more than then she was so helpful with some of the positions she suggested to help Lacie. You see, Paxton was a little bit hard to push down because he his head was turned to the side. He got a nice bruise on the top of his head for that too when he came out. When he finally did come out, he was a little lethargic but perked right up after about 10 or fifteen seconds. I don't blame him. He'd been pushed and pulled for 12 hours. He arrived at 10:30 AM that next morning (June 20). The experience after that was amazing. The midwives did the checks in a way that allowed our new family to bond and get to know each other, and then let us rest. We took a few hours to sleep and then headed on home. At no time did they take Paxton out of the room that we were in. I LOVED THAT.

Since then Paxton has continued to grow. Last Monday we weighed in at about 10 lbs. Lacie is so happy about that because she feels like she is doing what she needs to be doing to be a mother. I agree. She is a terrific mother. He has started to smile while he's awake, and we've even caught him sort of laughing in his sleep. I can't wait till he starts to play so that I can interact with him a little more.